Updates, Revelations, and Changes

It has been a few weeks since I last posted on my yeast-free/dieting or other weight loss endeavours. I'm a little exhausted with the whole thing. No, I haven't completely given up or made many seriously unhealthy choices. I'm just craving more variety to my meals. I think the doubt began to stir a little this weekend.

I went on a mini-vacay to OC, MD. During which I gave myself full permission to enjoy any food (sugared, dairy, or not) I desired. It started off well enough with typical beach and boardwalk foods (hot dogs, mozzarella sticks, cheese fries, pizza, crab cakes, some drank, lemonade, coca-cola :), taffy, and a tub of caramel corn). I thoroughly enjoyed it all and left with no regrets. But then I came home late Sunday and felt horrible. It was on a strange level too. I had pardoned all my food choices mentally, but I had not expected so much backlash from my body physically. I wasn't sick to my stomach but my body did not feel happy.

I resumed healthy eating Monday but it was a slow recovery. And I had a small relapse Tuesday night when a friend suggested we check out a new Caribbean Vegan restaurant. I had BBQ 'ribs' cabbage and mac n' 'cheese'. I don't know if it was the sugar laden homemade BBQ sauce or the mac pasta but I felt my body in revolt again. It also didn't help that later that night when in an uncomfortable conversation I reached for a few pieces chocolate and too many kettle chips. I wasn't even sure why I did that. It was like I thought 'well I feel like crap already so a little more junk can't hurt at this point.' Oh but it did. The best way to describe this type of "sickness" is exhausted, dizzy, feverish, unfocused, and not good. I couldn't wait to hit the sack so that I could feel like the reset button was pressed the next morning.

So, this week's episode has proven that my current 'healthy' regiment is good for me and thus bad choices are poison and to be avoided at all costs, right? Not really. Remember, up above I was trying to explain how my doubt has begun to stir?... So, really this week has taught me that maybe I should slowly start incorporating "normal" foods into my diet within reason. For instance, a serving of brown rice, wheat bread, or whole grain pasta a few times a week. Now, I know for fact that dairy negatively affects my digestion; so maybe I will continue to strictly avoid (but not completely rule out) milk products like yogurt, cheese, and cream. And to be honest, I have found perfectly satisfying non-dairy replacements for all of these things anyways. This way, I will not be completely thrown off my sanity every time I indulge.

I think it is most important that I keep in mind that every body is unique in their needs and what makes them feel best. And just because a certain lifestyle appears helpful at first doesn't mean that I have to prescribe rigidly to that set of rules forever. I should be open to some healthy tweaks and variations where my body deems necessary (note to self: 'necessary' does not include late night milk chocolate and chips binges every night, no fun at all).

I guess this post is steering my usual ramblings into the land of dietary advice. But really it's about food discovery for myself. It's very hard to prescribe what will work for others when you can only attempt to understand what works for you and your own well being. (Ooo, deep) Maybe I will work on reflecting on foods that make me feel well, balanced, and sound of mind. It's starting to sound all holistic and hippie-dippie, but what is so wrong with taking the time to shut-up your thoughts and emotions to better hear what your body is saying. Meh, it's worth a try.

Cheese!

Okay, now I know I can't be the only one on the planet who abstained from cheesecake for my first two decades of life because cheese and cake sound weird and therefore together must taste weird. But I decided to give it a chance in my twenties because apparently not liking cheesecake is perceived as weird by the greater population. Whatever. So, I planned to give it a try one day, probably in the company of cheesecake loving coworkers, because it couldn't be that bad if so many people are crazy for it. And it wasn't, it was pretty damn delicious, so I scratched it off the list of foods that I mentally set myself up to dislike (sorry raw tomatoes and cantalope).

This week I encountered another fateful food item off of my subconciously banned food list. Cottage cheese. Now, there must be an even bigger population of folks that can agree that cottage cheese sounds weird and therefore is weird, right? Probably. So, when I found out that a relative was praising the stuff I was perplexed to say the least. I knew cottage cheese is somehow related to weightloss. My thought on that: I will never want to lose weight THAT BAD! So anyways, the power of a family testimonial overcame my aversion to foods that (in my mind) innapropriately incorporate "cheese". My (low) expectations were that it would be like lumpy yogurt. Long story short, its just a bland crumbled cheese (yes, the lumpiness is the consistency of actual cheese that actually requires chewing, unlike yogurt) similar to maybe soft mexican cheese (no not shredded cheddar blends used on tacos) blocks sold in packages of 3. But with even less flavor, not even a sour yogurty taste. So my findings are that cottage cheese is not repulsive nor is it delicious. It's just sort of a blank slate that requires modification to suit the tastes of the diner, muuuuuch like tofu (actually almost exactly like tofu, minus the veggies add dairy).

I bought a 4-pack of Breakstone's Lowfat with mango. They are some tiny containers (4 oz!) with a teensy bit of mango. I thought it would be like mango yogurt but it was more like mango cheese (yucky sounding I know). It wasn't too bad, but I think I will experiment with more salty combinations after I finish this 4-pack. Oh, and I know why it is recommended for weightloss. That itty bitty serving kept me full for nearly 3 hours yesterday afternoon. Which is a tremendous feat for the hours usually designated for snack-binges. For a perpetual snacker it was almost a miracle :)

**Update**

Breakstone's Cottage Doubles Apple Cinnamon is disgustingly good. That is all.